Several people have asked what happened at church. I don't like secrets. I have nothing to hide.
Here is our story in a nutshell.
For the last several years we, Jack and I, have put our church family first. We came to church every Sunday. Many times our children were the only people under the age of 25. This is our church, our church family. We all have relationships. We all LOVE our church family.
We have seen many people leave. Many close friends. We have respected that they have done what is best for their family. We thought we were doing what was best for our family.
Several weeks ago the Pastor's sermon got a bit off track (in my opinion) and his personal feelings became very apparent. He overstepped. It caused us to take a long, hard look at why we continue to go to church. The realization came crashing down and forced me (us) to ask some questions - Have I just become a seat filler? When was the last time that a sermon stuck with me? When was the last time that our family had a sermon to discuss or wrestle with? Jake will be going off to college in 4 years. Are we giving him a foundation to take the time and effort it takes to form the relationships and find a church family? In our good deed of staying for our church family, have we neglected our own children?
Sadly, the answer to too many of these questions was "yes."
We returned for the Children/Youth Director's last Sunday. I sat and cried. I looked around the room filled with people I love so much, it was heart wrenching. I have to do what is best for my kids. I can't sit by idle in the pew.
We went to our old church on Saturday night. My soul was fed. The sermon stuck with me. My family has talked about the sermon more than once since then, which hasn't happened in years.
Do I like going to Sunday School and leaving? NO! Am I comfortable doing so? No, but it's what is best for my family right now. We don't want to find a new church.
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Youth - One thing you need to know about our youth group, they are a family. They love each other unconditionally. BUT they are a fragile unit. They have seen many friends leave over the last year. I can understand why one would be surprised that many come to Sunday School and none stay for worship. Each youth has their own story, but Annie did a pretty good job summing it up. Our Pastor has made no attempt in getting to know them. They aren't on his radar and they know it. And she's right, I don't think he knows her name.
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Our back story - we came from a big church. We loved it but they outgrew us. We came here 6 years ago. Jake was getting ready to go into 3rd grade. He would be receiving his Bible and I (as a preacher's kid) wanted him to have a personal relationship with the pastor. Our first Sunday here Jake was home. Annie wasn't as easy a sell... it took her months to feel at home. Jack and I returned to Sunday School here. We found our small group. We formed friendships that aren't just Sunday friends. I got involved with the children and youth. I went on Mission Trips. Jack has lead committees.
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I received some great insight from someone new. She told me, "A pastor is supposed to be an example of Christian life. However they are still human and after a while too much of their humanity comes through. Each pastor has different gifts and graces." She wasn't defending anyone, just giving me a different view. I respect that.
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I am blessed. My kids are understanding, gracious and love our church family, too. It wasn't easy on any of us.
We will survive. We are strong. We are patient.
xo
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